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"How can I talk him out of showing off?"

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  • "How can I talk him out of showing off?"

    Some back ground. WHen I teach BRC's I always give the students my email address so the can ask me questions pre and post class. I also give them URL to this site in hopes they'll at least Lurk. Selected students who I feel are good enough and trustworthy get my cell number as I offer Beginner Rides and such. I'm willing to do rides with Newbs but I admit I'm picky about who I'll ride with in that regard.

    I've been texting with a lovely girl who was in my class a month or two ago. We've been working on setting up a beginner ride but haven't done it yet due to scheduling on both our parts. SHe did admit that she didn't follow my advice tostart on a small 250 or 500 ... she got an R6 ..............

    Next background ... Yesterday Todd, Chuck, and I went for a morning spirited ride over Wolf Creek pass. It was a fun ride, Todd on his V-Strom Large, Chuck on his Thruxton, me on the Tiger 800XC. We obeyed "the posted speed limit" at all times. Remind us to tell you about SHEEP some time! lol Anyway, we're on our way home and decide to bail off of I-80 as traffic was horrible. We take Emigration Canyon down which added miles to the trip but was infinitely safer and better. On the way down the canyon we saw ... and I kid you not ... about 75 sport bikes heading up the canyon!! UGH!!! So VERY glad we were going the other way. That group just screamed carnage and squidville. I posted on FB that I hoped somebody put life flight on standby.

    Later in the afternoon I text the student to see if she'll be around next weekend and interested in a ride. She texts me that she's in the hospital right now as her boyfriend when down. They were both part of that 75 bike clustermess!!! UGH! New rider .. doing a 75 bike ride?? She "stayed with the beginners" but ... UGH!!!

    BF claimed "gravel" ... which is always the excuse, there's always gravel. SHe admits he probably went "in hot". He low sided, bike hit cement retaining wall, and we went tumbling. He was in full ATGATT though so some broken bones but nothing major. She did say that had he not been ATGATT he most likely would not have made it.

    I've subsequently texted her stating my thoughts. Gravel had little or nothing to do with him going down. Unless everyone ahead of him or lots of other bikes also went down, gravel was not an issue. Rather improper entry speed, target fixation, riding beyond his skill set, and testosterone where the key culprits. She actually agreed with me. She's since told me "Ya, I'm sure he took it too fast and he said when he started to freak out he didn't finish looking through the turn and looked at the barrier. He is usually a pretty good rider. He took both the basic and advanced MSF course and was about to take the RT class. But he probably let his ego take over"

    If he took our classes than yes, he failed to accept all that we've said and he did let his ego and testosterone take over. He's quite lucky, she's sent me pics of his bike.

    Her final question to me, and one I propose to the group ... "How can I talk him out of showing off"
    Ride safe, ride smart, ride ATGATT because sweat dries faster than scars heal

    2011 Triumph Tiger 800XC
    2009 Kawasaki ER-6N

    * If you love your bike set it free. If it comes back to you, you've High Sided


  • #2
    I don't think she can talk him out of it, I think he needs a mentor who can show him he can have a good time even going at a slower pace.

    There is one guy that rides with me on occasion, and he mentioned recently that he has slowed down, and that I am part of it. When we met, he was in the hyper-warp crowd, and tended to flip me crap because I choose my pace, and won't push it. But, he has noticed that when he slows down and rides behind me, because he's exhausted from pushing all the time, that I look smooth, am relaxed, and am having a good time. He has admitted to me that he enters blind corners with no margin for error, and I tell him that I like having my margin, and that I choose to pick a spot in the road where I want to put the bike, not just go around the corner as fast as possible.

    Nick Ienatsch's essay The Pace was given to me as a new rider, and it is something that I read every year, and try to follow.
    I still make a runny one now and then, but the goo is good on ice cream.

    -- Overcaffeinated


    • #3
      Well, the showing off, that's kind of a guy thing...I admit, I've been there, and I dunno if I've outgrown it even yet at 50+ (but I am getting much better at just letting the other guy go on ahead...).

      However, it's one thing to "show off" that you're good, as opposed to showing off that you're simply fast...I'm always more impressed with the guys who just flow smoothly along, completely in control, and make it look easy, than with the guys who are barely hangin' on (although the latter may be going faster). Blowing a corner (and especially crashing)...well, there goes any "good riding" cred a guy might have...


      • #4
        Originally posted by Clair View Post
        .Her final question to me, and one I propose to the group ... "How can I talk him out of showing off"
        I'm just spit balling here, but if this spill doesn't talk him out of it, I doubt anything that can be said will.
        Sent from your mom's phone
        "If I wanted a windshield and tunes, I'd drive my car."
        Ride Safe, Chop Safer
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        "Motorcycles are not unsafe. However, they are extremely unforgiving of inattention, incompetence, ignorance, and stupidity."
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        • #5
          Getting straight to the point she should say if you want me to be your GF.
          Knock it off I don't want to go to your funeral. Remember I ride to so don't give me any crap.
          Blunt yes but some times that's what it will take.

          Or write the word NO on a two by four.
          Then apply it right between the eyes.
          If he is really hard headed have some spares on hand.


          • #6
            Originally posted by Shadow Shack View Post
            I'm just spit balling here, but if this spill doesn't talk him out of it, I doubt anything that can be said will.
            What I was thinking...


            • #7
              My thoughts as well.
              Ride Naked
              77 KZ650
              03 ZRX1200R
              89 KX125
              01 ZX-9R
              18 H2SX SE
              Originally posted by kthkern
              KZ Is the best!!!


              • #8
                Frankly, I'm more curious about her and her judgement. Has she matured any, or does she listen to and then follow this BF-and-company's line of crap?

                If she doesn't make changes on her own, she's going to follow in his wake, eventually. Or quit riding.


                • #9
                  The little bad guy on our shoulder gets the best of us all from time to time. The likelihood of the bad guy winning is multiplied by the number of guys in the crowd then grows exponentially by their likelihood of succumbing to the little bad guy.

                  She has a few options. She should have a talk with him that he gets acting dumb while she's riding with him again then it'll be the last time she rides with him. A you'll do as you wish but don't make me watch stance.

                  Once he can ride again, if he decides to ride again that is, she needs to sign him up for a track day or two. That will do two things. A: Give him an outlet for speed in a proper environment which will possibly make him slow down on the street. B: Like most everyone that learns like they should at their track days his 105% will become his 85% so if he can't be slowed down at least he'll be more likely to get away with it. I had an instant improvement to the point I wasn't aware I was going faster, I thought I was loafing until a buddy asked what my hurry was, at that point I slowed down a lot (And haven't broken the limit since, promise.) Could be good, could be bad but at least he'll be more likely to survive the next hot corner.

                  Last, and least likely to work, she could put her foot down and tell him that it happens again she'll walk. If she's able to make him believe she's serious then it may get through to him.
                  Stay safe, keep the shiny side up and never pass up a chance to go after that horizon.


                  • #10
                    Sometimes peer pressure is the most effective. A speech I sometimes gave on group rides with new/unknown riders is "you don't want to be known as that guy, you know the one everyone talks about as the one who overrode their ability and crashed on this ride."
                    When life throws you curves, aim for the apex
                    08 Spyder RS SM5 "big Bird" \ 12 S'TtripleR "stripper" \ 02 VFR800 "big red" \ 09 KLX250-S
                    Sold: 97 Ninja 500R / 03 SV650N / 01 Ducati 750SS / 73 CB350-Four / 03 BMWF650GS / 08 Gixxer600 / 09 KLX250S "Gumby" / 06 Thruxton "crumpet" / 91 VFR750 /03 Gixxer6 the bass boat
                    my Facebook, SpeedShotsPhotography
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                    "I have seen fat kids on Segways go through corners faster."


                    • #11
                      We have had a rash of wrecks in the NW that have gotten people talking. Hopefully some good can come from the guy's wreck.
                      I still make a runny one now and then, but the goo is good on ice cream.

                      -- Overcaffeinated


                      • #12
                        Track day. She should buy him a track day.

                        I'm glad she cares enough to try.
                        Katherine goes to Fahrschule - the German rider training thread :: Nine Days in the Alps :: BRC 2014 :: Finding GS Land
                        2012 CBR250R (sold), 2001 Super Sherpa, 2004 BMW F650GSa - not a big Ford truck...


                        • #13
                          Keep him away from the douchebags who encourage it & ride the same douchbag way.

                          The one time I rode with ego-minded riders is when I almost lost my ass in a low-side/tank-slapper. Since I chose to ride with more conservative types who CAN zoom but only do in small quantities, Ive yet to let my ego near my riding style. My ego - that is, doing something for someone else to notice - has not touched my riding much since that day. Not to get too spiritual but, Im the only one who pushes myself. If I find a corner I fear, I go to it again & again until I am comfortable with it then I ease myself a little more because I know I ride VERY conservatively & a lil more lean isnt pushing the bike, tires, road, its pushing myself outside of my boundaries.

                          That whole 'ride your own ride' thing has many dynamic levels to it that you only learn IF you want to and IF you feel for it.
                          If dude doesnt get a lil lesson out of this and begin to ease back and try again from a different approach, next time the hospital visit may be worse.

                          Sent from my DROID4 using Tapatalk 2
                          M.I.T.G.C. #46
                          Reading any of my posts may be hazardous to your morals. Don't mind me, I'm just pervy
                          "Ass shaker" of 2010 PRR
                          Purple sheep/Perv of 2011 PRR


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Shadow Shack View Post
                            I'm just spit balling here, but if this spill doesn't talk him out of it, I doubt anything that can be said will.

                            Didn't read that he has admitted any fault, just that she thinks he is to blame. If he cannot admit the fault was his then I don't see him changing anything.


                            • #15
                              Maybe I'm just a chump...well, I am a chump but: I'd say cut him off until he knocks it off. She has no responsibility to invest in a company aiming to fail.

                              (AND young men will do just about anything for...benefits.)
                              Author of "Motorcycles, Life and..." & "The Elemental Motorcyclist"