Page 1 of 4 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 35

Thread: Best way to kill a gopher

  1. #1
    Flirting With The Redline 5000 Posts! Big Daddy C's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    California
    Posts
    5,334

    Best way to kill a gopher

    Yes,

    That's right, I have a big ol' pocket gopher invading my lawn, and I wanna get the sum'bitch!

    Problem, the wife will not let me poison the SOB because we have a cat that lives outside that normally would take car of this problem for us and she's afraid the kitty will much on it too or eat the poisoned gopher and get sick, etc...... (Sally is normally the huntress supreme, I wanted to call her Diana for all the mice, rats, mockingbirds and smaller gophers she has reeled in over the years, but alas she has met her match) Unfortunately for the first time ever, she lost and this Big ol boy even suns himself on my lawn without fear from my kitty.

    I want him DEAD, I want to be able to feed his Greasey Grimey Gopher Guts to Sally.

    I thought about gasoline and a match and torching the bugger out.

    My wife refuses to use a pellet gun to get him. (Is it enough or do I need the .22?) I have no such reservations but he does not sun himself in my presence.

    I have also considered purchase a king snake and letting him handle the business....

    Any ideas are welcome.
    BDC

    Head Wanker and Nipple Patrol Founding Father.
    #1 Member of M.I.T.G.C.

    1995 Honda PC800 - SOLD!
    1999 Honda CB250 - SOLD!

  2. #2
    Contributor We've stopped counting... Bugguts's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    BBO Bartender
    Posts
    37,854
    Shoot him.

    Forget the pellet gun, use the .22.

    Mandy will eventually get over it. And Sally will appreciate it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ninja Rebel View Post
    Funny, I only now realized you are a woman, never really looked at the pic close, always thought it was a man...

  3. #3
    Flirting With The Redline 6000 Posts! TJay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Central PA
    Posts
    6,662
    Send Mandy to a spa for the day to get her away, then shoot the sucker.
    Sally won't tell on you!

    Here - I found this: http://www.critter-repellent.com/gop...of-gophers.php

    So your lawn will smell like fox urine but it may get rid of the gopher. You can't have everything, you know!
    Tammy ~ Member of ECHO
    '98 Suzuki Savage : For sale
    '07 Triumph Speedmaster

    ~~Boldly Going Everywhere.~~

    Quote Originally Posted by subvetSSN606
    That dragon's got nothing on the twists and turns around these parts.

  4. #4
    Flirting With The Redline 5000 Posts! Big Daddy C's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    California
    Posts
    5,334
    A little problem with the .22. Even though we have a large 1 acre lot, we live in the city, and discharging a firearm within the city limits is supposed to be a big no-no. I have the pellet gun out and ready, and feel much more comfortable with that out and about than the .22 with the kids.

    I just hope it's enough....

    I'll look at the fox piss idear, but the little f*cker will just hide in my neighbors yard. Of course, that's where he came from. They have been feasting on his peaches.
    BDC

    Head Wanker and Nipple Patrol Founding Father.
    #1 Member of M.I.T.G.C.

    1995 Honda PC800 - SOLD!
    1999 Honda CB250 - SOLD!

  5. #5
    Try this...

    Get some camo grease paint from the local gun store, some pliable plastic explosives, detonators, wire, and one of the plunger thingies used to blow up said plastic explosives. Mold the explosives into shapes like squirrels, rats, smaller gophers, or birds. Attach the detonators and wire, hook all that up to the plunger and paint your face up using the grease paint. Get into some goofy looking camo pants, hat and t-shirt, then sneak around the yard, dropping the rodent bombs into the gopher's hole(s) while he's out sunning himself then wait till he goes back to the hole, press the plunger and watch him blow up

    Then go play some golf.

  6. #6
    Contributor We've stopped counting... Bugguts's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    BBO Bartender
    Posts
    37,854
    Nope. .22 long range. Screw the neighbors.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ninja Rebel View Post
    Funny, I only now realized you are a woman, never really looked at the pic close, always thought it was a man...

  7. #7
    Flirting With The Redline 5000 Posts! Big Daddy C's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    California
    Posts
    5,334


    It's a Cinderella Story, 17th hole here at the Masters, he's 375 yards from the green, he'll be playing a 7 iron.......
    BDC

    Head Wanker and Nipple Patrol Founding Father.
    #1 Member of M.I.T.G.C.

    1995 Honda PC800 - SOLD!
    1999 Honda CB250 - SOLD!

  8. #8
    Flirting With The Redline 2000 Posts! Greg's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Elmira, Ontario
    Posts
    2,250
    Will the city help you out? Some places have Animal control that will remove animals sans charge. Not sure about your area.

    Discharging a firearm, while fun is not recommended for your area. Crossbows are quiet though...

    If you can get close to him, introduce it to the speakin' end of a shovel and bury his litte ass in his own hole.
    I never knew why a dog would stick its head out the car window until I took my first ride on a motorcycle.
    • 2007 VTX 1300C - Putting the X in sexy...
    • 1981 KZ 1000 CSR SOLD - Was a great bike for sure but I had to move on
    • 2010 Chrysler 300C 5.7L Got that HEMI

  9. #9
    Miles of smiles We've stopped counting... asp125's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    West siiide
    Posts
    26,968
    Blog Entries
    1
    Try flooding them out. Garden hose in the burrow and then a shovel on the head a-la "wack a mole".
    When life throws you curves, aim for the apex

    06 Thruxton 900 "Crumpet" \ 09 KLX250S "Gumby" \ 91 VFR750 \ 08 Spyder RS SM5 "big Bird" \ 12 S'TtripleR "stripper"
    Sold: 97 Ninja 500R / 03 SV650N / 01 Ducati 750SS / 73 CB350-Four / 03 BMWF650GS / 08 Gixxer600 /03 Gixxer6 the bass boat
    my Facebook, SpeedShotsPhotography
    MITGC #22

    "I have seen fat kids on Segways go through corners faster."

  10. #10
    Flirting With The Redline 2000 Posts! remy_marathe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    CA
    Posts
    2,052
    Get a lady gopher. Pack an empty CO2 cylinder with gunpowder, insert a model rocket ignition wire and epoxy the whole thing shut. Wire it up (make sure you have plenty of slack), strap it to the lady gopher, and send her in.

    If she doesn't drive the first gopher off with unreasonable demands, just blow them both up.
    *squeak* ... *squeak* ... *squeak* ....
    '98 Suzuki GS500E, a.k.a. "Orange Sonya"
    15,000 miles since 2005, not all of them safe or well executed.

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Donate towards our hosting bill!