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Thread: Because the ACA has gone over so well, lets try this next

  1. #1
    Flirting With The Redline 2000 Posts! mechdziner714's Avatar
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    Because the ACA has gone over so well, lets try this next

    The Affordable Motorcycle Act

    The U.S. government has just passed a new law entitled “The Affordable Motorcycle Act” declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new motorcycle by April, 2014. These ‘affordable’ motorcycles will cost an average of $5,000-$15,000 each. This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration fees, fuel, storage fees, maintenance, or repair costs.

    This law has been passed because, until now, typically only wealthy and financially responsible people have been able to purchase motorcycles. This new law ensures that every American can now have an ‘affordable’ motorcycle of their own, because everyone is ‘entitled’ to a new motorcycle. If you purchase your motorcycle before the end of the year, you will receive two ‘free’ helmet (does not include monthly usage fees).

    In order to make sure everyone purchases an ‘affordable motorcycle,’ the cost of owning a motorcycle will increase on average of 250-400% per year. This way, wealthy people will pay more for something that other people don’t want or can’t afford to maintain. But, to be fair, people who can’t afford to maintain their motorcycle will be regularly fined and children (under the age of 26) can use their parents motorcycle(s) to ride until they turn 27, after which date they must purchase their own motorcycle.

    If you already have a motorcycle, you can keep yours (just kidding; no you can’t). If you don’t want or don’t need a motorcycle, you are required to buy one anyhow. If you refuse to buy one or can’t afford one, you will be regularly fined $800 until you purchase one, or face imprisonment. If you cannot (or don’t want to) purchase an ‘affordable motorcycle’ from a private business, you can buy a starter motorcycle from the U. S. government ‘affordable motorcycle exchange.’ Such a motorcycle will have the basic necessities (pants, gloves, jacket) and will only cost ‘slightly more’ than a similar motorcycle purchased from a private business. Plus, since your tax dollars will subsidize the purchase of a motorcycle from the U. S. government’s ‘affordable motorcycle exchange,’ it will appear that you are getting a good deal.

    Failure to use the motorcycle will also result in fines. People living in the desert, ghettos, inner cities, are not exempt. Neither age, motion sickness, experience, knowledge, nor lack of desire are acceptable excuses for not using your motorcycle.

    A government review board (that doesn’t know the difference between the low side, high side, or wheelie) will decide everything, including when, where, how often, and for what purposes you can use your motorcycle, along with how many people can ride your motorcycle. The board will also determine if one is too old or healthy enough to be able to use their motorcycle, and will also decide if your motorcycle has out lived its usefulness or if you must purchase specific accessories (like a $500 compass) or a newer and more expensive motorcycle.

    Those that can afford cruisers will be required to do so … it’s only fair. The government will also decide the name for each boat. Failure to comply with these rules will result in fines and possible imprisonment.

    Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a motorcycle, they and their families can obtain motorcycle free at the expense of tax payers. Unions, bankers, and mega companies with large political affiliations ($$$) are also exempt.
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  2. #2
    RiderCoach 2000 Posts! KACinPA's Avatar
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    A tad LEPR no?

  3. #3
    Miles of smiles We've stopped counting... asp125's Avatar
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    Flirting With The Redline 10,000 Posts! Shadow Shack's Avatar
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    Flirting With The Redline 8000 Posts! shonuff's Avatar
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    Contributor 2000 Posts! Calabash's Avatar
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  7. #7
    RiderCoach 10,000 Posts! SoCal LabRat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bugguts View Post
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  8. #8
    Hittin' The Twisties
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    Quote Originally Posted by KACinPA View Post
    A tad LEPR no?
    What does LEPR mean?

  9. #9
    Moderator/RiderCoach 10,000 Posts! Clair's Avatar
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    I'm leaning on moving this to LEPR but will watch the comments to see.

    Postoak .. LEPR is the gloves off forum,
    Way off-topic discussion. (Law, Ethics, Politics, and Religion) It may get dicey in here folks, take things with a grain of salt!
    . The rest of these forums are public, LEPR is password protected so only those who want to go there can. have a thick skin to be in LEPR, it is gloves off and we don't moderate it much.

    This post, although amusing, is leaning LEPR as it parodies the Affordable Care Act and can start Political type stuff. For now we'll just watch to see how the comments go
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  10. #10
    Flirting With The Redline 6000 Posts! Afflo's Avatar
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    Does this mean that military members will get free motorcycles? W00t!
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