Home Security System
How to Install a Home Security System
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of used men's work boots,
2. Put them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo
3. Place a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Big Jim, Duke, Slim, and I went for more ammunition. Back in an hour.
Don't mess with the pit bulls--they attacked the mailman this morning
and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it, but
it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of
'em in the house. Better wait outside.
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas .
With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes.
Suddenly, a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: 'I've heard enough of your stupid ass blonde jokes.What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!'
The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, 'You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little shit on your knee'.