Golfing....

[Paduan]

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the
ball into the woods.

She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, 'If you release me from this trap, I will grant
you three wishes.'

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, 'Thank you, but I failed
to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.

Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!'

The woman said, 'That's okay.'

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the
world..

The frog warned her, 'You do realize that this wish will also make
your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will
flock to'.

The woman replied, 'That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful
Woman and he will have eyes only for me.'

So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, 'That will make your husband the richest man in the
world.. And he will be ten times richer than you.'

The woman said, 'That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his
is mine'

So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, 'I'd
like a mild heart attack.'

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop
here and continue feeling good.

Male readers Only ..

The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!

Moral of the story: Women really aren't as smart as they think they
are....

Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show
that women never listen!!!

[hqp921]

A classic. Not sure if I heard this particular variation, but the premise and punchline's the same.

:)

[Paduan]

A classic. Not sure if I heard this particular variation, but the premise and punchline's the same.

:)

Apparently, I haven't been paying attention.

A friend sent this to me, and I had never seen it before.

Mildly funny, but then, I'm having a "mild" day.

[NoCo Gal]

so, my day is a 10th milder than yours???

[Ash]

One day a husband and wife were out golfing. After hitting one in the water for the third time the husband swore and exclamed he can't believe he spent all that money on fuc%ing lessons. The wife replies "Maybe you should have bought golf lessons."

[subvetSSN606]

<snork>

Tom

[Big Daddy C]

A priest, Moses, Jesus, and an old man tee off.

The priest drives the green within 5 yards of the hole. after years of practice and hard work he hits the shot of his LIFE!

Moses peels off a drive that heads straight for a water hazard. At the last moment he raises his arms, the water parts, and his ball rolls through to the green inches from the cup.

Jesus slices the ball and it goes into the water hazard. He quickly runs across the water and hits his second onto the green 2 inches from the hole.

The old man tees off with a short worm burner that trickles into the hazard. Soon after a fish eats the ball and swims across the pond with it in its mouth. Just then an eagle swoops down and snatches the fish with the golf ball and flies off. The eagle loses its grip and drops the fish on the green. The fish then spits out the ball and it rolls into the hole for a hole in one. AMAZING!!!

Jesus turns to the old man and replies, "Why don't you ever play fair Dad!?!?!!?"

[joem]

A husband reluctantly agreed to play in the couples' alternate shot tournament at his club. He teed off on the first hole, a par four, and blistered a drive 300 yards down the middle of the fairway. Upon reaching the ball, the husband said to his wife "Just hit it toward the green, anywhere around there will be fine."

The wife proceeded to shank the ball deep into the woods.

Undaunted, the husband said "That's OK, Sweetheart" and spent the full five minutes looking for the ball. He found it just in time, but in a horrible position. He played the shot of his life to get the ball within two feet of the hole. He told his wife to knock the ball in.

His wife then proceeded to knock the ball off the green and into a bunker.

Still maintaining composure, the husband summoned all of his skill and holed the shot from the bunker. He took the ball out of the hole and, while walking off the green, put his arm around his wife and calmly said, "Honey, that was a bogey, and that's OK, but I think we can do better on the next hole"

To which she replied, "Listen you &&#37;@#*, don't bitch at me, only 2 of those 5 shots were mine."